Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize