I think i peed on brittanys purse
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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