at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
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So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
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I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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