Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
