You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
