i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
