Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
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