Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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