did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
ok first of all what the fuck
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
