i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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