Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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