It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
