You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
