When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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