If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I love you.
Bad choice
You did what with his pubic hair?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
