He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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