He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize