check it out our google latitudes are spooning
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
