i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
