Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i think i have two assholes
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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