Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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