Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
