DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
