I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
