I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Randomize
