my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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