Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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