During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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