Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
her vagine was all disorganized.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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