im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize