$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
