Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
