Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize