Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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