Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
