Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
