bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
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He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
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i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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