i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
