i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
