Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
