Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
