I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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