Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
