She announced her abortion via fbk
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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