too bad you live with your parents still
My brain says no but my pants say off.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I would ride that face into the sunset
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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