Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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