Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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