i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
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It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
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Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize