He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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