Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
