sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just had sex on a roof
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I have already put on my inside pants.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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