Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
