Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize