Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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