and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Don't EVER smell your tampon
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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