Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
