I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
