If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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