I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
